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Quote19.02.2013 16:131 people like thisLike

So I have this problem where I feel in between in a bad way. I feel like I'm too fat to be liked by people who aren't explicitly into fatties, and I'm not fat enough to be sexy to people who are into fat people. So I feel "bad fat" instead of "huge, good fat". (OTOH, if I gained enough to finally be "huge, good fat" (I'm thinking 300 or more), I'd be miserable as it would limit what I could do too much. Also, there's no guarantee that I still wouldn't feel not big enough to be hot. I mean, I've been anywhere from 150-260, and in those places, I've felt this same in-between feeling of too fat to be sexy to average folks, but not fat enough to be sexy to people who like fat folks.)


Does this make any sense? Does anyone else have this problem?

Quote19.02.2013 18:481 people like thisLike

If it makes you feel any better, when you get to a certain range (I'm over 400) you wind up getting a lot people telling you that you're too big. I remember feeling the same way as you when I was 250. But now that I'm way beyond that I realized that the spectrum of fat is so vast that even at your size, you still fit in among the fat admirer crowd. You're big enough. It's best to learn to be happy with your size because every single person in this community has a different idea on what 'big' and 'huge' equates to.

Quote19.02.2013 19:520 people like thisLike

I'm in agreement with Jenny. I find myself wondering the same thing once in a while. But I am confident enough in my own skin to know that I'm just the right size for that special someone should that person ever come along. Even among our own personal fetishes, there's someone out there for everyone. : )

Quote20.02.2013 21:360 people like thisLike

This has been an issue that has drained my happiness since I was 10. I still feel that way in regards to other people, more often than not I tell people my weight (online) and they say either "I don't know, that seems way huge." or "I once knew a fella who was 650 lbs, so you're not really that fat or attractive." (The second one's comedic hyperbole, but that's the basic gist.)


For me on my own personal level, as a gainer/feedee I got to 200 lbs when I was 12 I thought, "I'm not fat enough to be really fat, another 100 lbs will make me happy." and when I reached 300 lbs at 15 I thought "This has been fun, but now I'm only normally obese, I'm not truly fat in the sense that people will perceive me as a truly fat person. 100 more lbs would certainly get me there!" and then I got to 400 lbs at the age of 17 and thought "This is good, but not all I expected..." and then at 21 I was 508 lbs and actually felt satisfied. Aside from comments like the above I was pretty secure in my identity as 'really fat' (whatever that mental criteria I set myself means). Over the last year I've descended back to 470 in an attempt to get a job and now that feeling is creeping over me again and I'm feeling less satisfied with myself. I'm starting to feel like, to atone perhaps?, I need to achieve 525-550 to be happy again. I don't know, I'm only really happy when I am the weight I want.

Quote21.02.2013 06:520 people like thisLike

Everybody has issues with their body, the important thing to realize is that you can't please everyone.  Gaining more won't make more people accept so much as change who accepts you.  If you gain, do it because you want to, not because you want others to like you.  If you're having a hard time meeting someone that likes your fat as much as you do it's more because this is a niche interest rather than a problem with you.

Quote21.02.2013 17:340 people like thisLike

I weighed about 170 when I first got involved in online communities and am still quite a bit shy of 250. I have never once been bothered by a lack of attention from FAs. Like... not even close. Granted many of them are feeders who likely anticipate me becoming larger than I am, but nevertheless I've gotten plenty of interest in my level of fatness. I have encountered absolutely no lack of FAs who like fatties lighter than 300 lbs.

Quote21.02.2013 23:051 people like thisLike

I feel in-between a lot, but not because I'm worried I won't appeal to FAs. I mean, I've put on a good 40+ lbs, I've graduated into plus sizes, and Chris will sometimes say "You achieved your goal, you're officially fat!" but I still don't feel properly fat. I have this image in my head of how I want to be and I'm just not there at all. It's frustrating..

Quote23.02.2013 02:540 people like thisLike


I feel in-between a lot, but not because I'm worried I won't appeal to FAs. I mean, I've put on a good 40+ lbs, I've graduated into plus sizes, and Chris will sometimes say "You achieved your goal, you're officially fat!" but I still don't feel properly fat. I have this image in my head of how I want to be and I'm just not there at all. It's frustrating..

That! That exact feeling is what kept me going for so long. I think it seems to have diminished for me. I think there's just a point, one day, when you just see yourself in the mirror, or weigh yourself and you just think "That, that's properly fat." At least that's how it was for me. And now I've gotten to the point where I can just relax and eat. I haven't felt the need to stuff myself or anything in ages. But for me, I had to get to the 'that point' first.

Quote23.02.2013 22:310 people like thisLike

I would not worry about that, you are what you are.
You are the way you need to be, if you need to gain, you do that, but you are OK at every level and every point of it.
I guess it has more to do with stupid and limited people. People that watch too much TV and buy into the brain washing and let their opinions manipulated. People that have the erroneous view that there is just one beauty ideal.
Normal smart and developed people are flexible. Ever been able to chose the size or apperance of a lover / date / husband / wife? Nope, you usually have to take what you get. And normal smart people are flexible that way, they can find many things sexy and attractive, you at 200, you at 300, you at 400: just different flavours of you, with different pros and cons, but always sexy and attractive.
So the people that reject you, well, be glad that you don't have to put up with nitwits and idiots that are hung up on some beauty ideal put in their mind by the media and fashion industry and, well, Disney ;-)
Or people that are half way out of the closet, like fat, but still kinda want a thin girlfriend. Be glad that you will not be wasting time with these.

Yes, you might have a smaller group to chose from, BUT you will actually know that they do like you and you won't be number 5234 and be just somebody. I guess it can also happen when your definition of deep friendship changes and you get kinds bored and frustrated at mindless small talk or superficial chit chat that leads nowhere and is so replacable (they could have it with anybody else, they don't need you for that) and does not define us as humans. If you know that like I do, the group of people gets smaller, but much more high quality and meaningful.

I have that feeling sometimes myself, that I am way too thin for women that like fat. But as a mutual gainer, I know that there will be a woman that likes the process, the "turning a thin person into a fatty". With feeders or mutual gainers that expect me to be really fat already I'm therefore incompatible, but I won't miss much, because what feeders are they anyway that the shy away from "the work", the wonderful transformation and watching the fat grow? Then they are more like FAs and for a feedee like me, I don't want to just be loved for being big, but also for growing, because that is why I love to do, what I am good at.

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